Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
