Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize