even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
