Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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