i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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