This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
