i don't like sucking hair
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
