i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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