is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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