I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
