tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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