i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
