she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
