He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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