at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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