one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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