I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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