The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
