Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
