tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
