I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
