Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
