Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Farmville is her only friend.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
