Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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