I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
