Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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