I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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