She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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