I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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