Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
