i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
