note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
