I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
