i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
