My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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