thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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