My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
