i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
