I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
