I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
