If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
