And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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