if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
