i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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