His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Farmville is her only friend.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
