I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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