We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
