I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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