was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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