Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
