why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize