don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
