Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
no you cant smoke seaweed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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