can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize