I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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