god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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