You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
