Need sex. Gaining weight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
