I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
