I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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