No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize