HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
