I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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