I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just cropdusted the office
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
