he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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