Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
