I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
