this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
