But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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